Think about it

If “Little Debbie” regularly ate any of her delicious snack cake products, would they still be able to refer to her as “Little”?

When we were kids, we’d act like we were retarded and go door to door trying to sell a pickle that we had taken a bite out of for $2. Yes, I know…it’s not a nice thing to do, but we were stupid kids. The reactions we got were priceless, though, as people scrambled mentally to know what to say to such a strange offer. They’d be like, “I’m sorry…but I don’t have any cash on me right now” – as if to say they’d buy it if only they had the $2 lying around. It was a pickle with a bite taken out of it!

It seems like my “Wrinkle-Free Dockers” are only “wrinkle-free” after I spend 10 minutes ironing them.

Have you ever noticed that when people ask you “You wanna know what I think?” they never give you time to answer them? Cause…you know…most of the time…well…I don’t.

Nothing ticks me off more than seeing some idiot getting their 3-month old baby’s ears pierced. Needlessly making a kid feel pain angers me like you would not believe. These are the same losers who cried at the doctor’s office when little baby got a shot, and then they walk out the door and go right to the boutique to happily put their kid’s ear under a nail gun. You selfish morons - you know the only reason you’re doing it so that YOU can get comments on how cute she is. Great idea…let your kid suffer so you can be lauded with praise over how “precious” she is with cubic zirconium stapled to her earlobes.

Attention shoppers! Today's special is a buy one, get one free on Husky Debbie's Peanut Butter Waist Buster Rolls. We are also offering a complimentary nosering with each newborn piercing you get done today!