What are you looking at?

I'm in a freaking bad mood today.  Consider this me virtually sulking. This blog won't be that great because I'm just ranting, but today I don't care.  If you don't want to hear it, get the heck out of here because I'm about to serve up some deliciously well-aged "whine" and I don't care if you enjoy it or not!  Spare me the "cry-baby" comments - it's my blog and I can cry if I want to. (by the way, that song - "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" or whatever it's officially titled - is absolutely stupid and boring and pointless, and whoever wrote it should feel lifelong shame...I reference it only to give myself a chance to ridicule it's creator publicly...like I said, I'm in a bad mood)

People say they just "wake up mad" sometimes for no reason, but that's a huge load of poop.  There's always a reason for it.  It's just that sometimes it doesn't behoove you to mention that reason.  Maybe you don't remember the reason, or maybe talking about the reason will cause you more headache than it's worth...either way, it's not that you're mad about nothing.  

The only bright spot today is that some girl scout cookies I ordered came in.  I'm about to get jiggy with an entire sleeve of these Thin Mints - but since that might improve my mood a bit I'll bust out an "angry blog" first and then get fat later.

Funny how, when you are in a bad mood, you like to listen to music that keeps you that way and avoid anything that might cheer you up.  It's like sometimes being angry is fun.  Unfortunately, if I lay on the floor and pitch a fit or go around hitting stuff up here at the office they might can my butt, so I'll have to settle for some serious sulking at my desk.

The key to sulking is having people around to notice it, because if no one sees you sulking (or brooding, whichever works for you...I personally tend to switch back and forth) it doesn't work.  You can't sulk by yourself...someone else has to know that you're sulking or else there's no point!  You already know you're angry - you don't have to sulk to yourself.  What you want is for other people to know you're angry, but what it is you're angry about is usually so stupid that you don't want to come right out and say "I'm pissed off because of <insert reason here> and I want you to know about it!"  So you sulk or brood or pout and hope that other people pick up on it.  You start off just doing it slightly, and then if that doesn't work you slowly turn it up.  Sitting and staring turns into pacing which turns into stomping and door slamming, and then if all else fails you make up some reasons to interact with people and you do it angrily, which usually gets their attention.  I've never seen anyone resort to "Stage 7" sulking, which is slapping people and insulting their mothers, but I'm sure it's happened in cases where the target of your sulking is really dense (or really good at ignoring your sorry butt).

People say that "life is like a box of chocolates" because you never know what you'll get.  That may be true, but 75% of the time what you get in those stupid boxes is one of those cherry goop filled pieces of crap that drips on your work clothes and tastes like melted eyeball.  What you wanted was a good piece of candy, but they don't sell boxes of those...instead, they give you an "assortment" which means all the crap no one wants with a few decent items thrown in to give false hope.  In that regard, I guess life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get, but most of the time it's complete crap. 

Speaking of assorted crap, do yourself a favor and don't buy crap that they pile up near the check-out counter at Wal-Mart.  If the only way they can get people to buy something is to resort to dangling it in front of those people who a) are impulse shoppers, b) forgot to get something while in the store and will buy this just so they don't walk away with nothing, or c) are actually browsing the checkout aisles for something decent to purchase, then the item in question can't be that great now can it?  Just a random thought here...not sure why I thought of it but I put it in here because I freaking want to OK!

"I can see clearly now the rain is gone...It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright...sunshiny day!"  Who the heck wrote this piece of crap, unrealistic, sugary-sweet song?  You'd have to live inside Barney the dinosaur's colon to experience crap sweeter than this.