A trip to the zoo

Well, my apologies to all of my regular readers (all 3 of you) for the lack of updates…we’re in survival mode at home with this little booger, who doesn’t like doing much sleeping but sure finds the time to scream at me.

So yesterday I took my family to the zoo to see the animals, and man did we see some real gems!

I actually saw a guy yesterday with an airbrushed t-shirt! I thought these kinds of shirts were extinct, but apparently bad taste never dies. It had his name in that fancy cursive writing, and then it had a John Deere tractor (they were very careful to distinguish the kind of tractor – because no redneck worth his salt would be seen riding on “one uh them thar ‘Kuboter’ Jap-er-neese tracters!”) sitting in a corn field with a bright orange sun setting behind it. The shirt itself was so cheap that it was almost see-thru, but that didn’t stop this guy from proudly displaying this fine work of art!

Then, I saw something else that really ticks me off…a fat person riding in one of those motorized chairs that they usually reserve for the handicapped or for someone with a broken leg who can’t walk. Now this is not a bust on fat people…we all have our physical issues to deal with (personally, my face looks like Picasso’s first foray into sculpting) and I’m not knocking her for being overweight. But folks, being fat is not a handicap! Why should she get a motorized cart to carry her all over the zoo just because she’s overweight? Maybe if people didn’t let her get a motorized cart everywhere she went, she’d actually have to walk a step or two and she’d lose some of the weight. It’s just as much the zoo’s fault as it is hers, because they are enabling her to continue to be overweight by affording her personal transportation around the premises. They could have refused to give her a cart, but they didn’t…so there she was, riding around and letting her kids drive the cart and slamming down zoo food (which isn’t exactly the most artery-friendly food you’ll find). I thought it was more than ironic that she almost ran over a girl on crutches who was WALKING around the zoo.

Finally, I saw the “zoo employee with no soul” exhibit as I watched the girl behind the counter in the “gift shop” ring up the cheap toy my daughter bought without flinching or showing any signs of guilt or remorse. How she can sleep at night knowing the large sums of money people are paying to get their kids TOTAL CRAP in that store is beyond me. You can’t buy an eraser in that place for less than $4…and if it’s a stuffed animal…well, just forget about it. Better to break your kids heart than mortgage the house to get that rhino with a stupid smile on his face and a little t-shirt that says “I get a CHARGE out of the Birmingham zoo!” Believe me, if it were up to the zoo, they’d implant that rhinoceros horn in a very uncomfortable place.

Is there any chance, any chance at all, that we could get a little cleaning done in that indoor elephant area? I realize it's the penultimate "dirty job" that no one wants to deal with, but I don’t think you want people vomiting right away as they walk in. Yesterday it kind of made my eyes bleed. Thanks much!