Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Alien Stomach Bug!

Sorry for the delay in updates folks…my entire family was savaged this past week by one of the worst stomach viruses I have ever seen. It lasted into the weekend, and last night was the first time in 5 days my daughter hasn’t puked.

My child’s pediatrician is lucky to be alive today. Nothing bothers me more than seeing my daughter sick – it breaks my heart into so many little pieces. I wanted nothing more than to make her feel better these past few days. So imagine my surprise when the doctor, after talking to them for the second time, offers us some medicine that can help her stop puking! See, we called them after my daughter had thrown up 16 times – yes, 16 times – the first 10 hours she had this bug, and they gave us the standard doctor answer of “Yeah, we just need to let it run it’s course. It will go away soon. There’s nothing we can do but make sure she stays hydrated.” Then, two days later we called back because she was still throwing up, and they said “Here, take this medicine that will stop her from throwing up.”

As flames burst forth from my eyes and I began loading my pistol, a single thought began to dominate the entirety of my mind – “WHY IN THE HECK DIDN’T YOU GIVE THIS TO ME SOONER YOU INDIFFERENT LITTLE FREAK?” (well, the thought was similar to this...I can't post what I was actually thinking...)

I can’t figure these doctors out. Why is it that sometimes, they can’t wait to do more tests and prescribe more medications and recommend more stupid procedures – while other times they have stuff that can make you feel better but are reluctant to give it to you? Could it be that the stuff they like to prescribe costs $100 for a months worth, while the anti-nausea medicine was only $10? In the immortal words of Lucy from the Peanut’s gang, “I oughta slug you.”

Do doctors have a secret deal with Gatorade? "You suffered major head trauma in a car accident? Well, we need to hold off on doing anything major for now...just be sure to keep plenty of fluids in you and call us back if the pain doesn't subside in 2 days."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Logan

Jeremy Conner said...

LOL...now you stop that! No subliminal baby name programming will take place in my blog!

Anonymous said...

I used to feel so sorry for goldfish because they're always kept int those tiny little bowls. Then I found out that goldfish have a three second memory span. So in reality, every three second's they're going "HEY! That's new!" and swimming about their merry way. :-)

Jeremy Conner said...

Only you would know that Charity...amazing.