People who spam, you suck!

Recently, some slimy waste of oxygen decided to spam the comments section of my blog with a ridiculous plug for his money making scam. Each day, losers like this person flood my email with all sorts of complete garbage about how to get free drugs, free porn, free credit reports or a larger...well, you know what they tell you they can make larger. It's dirty! And each day, I spend time cleaning out my inbox, wishing I could get my hands on the MORON who thought it would be a great idea to keep sending them to me.

If I knew where this person was, I’d administer some proper justice to him/her, but unfortunately these cowards can hide behind the anonymity of the internet and thus escape the hand of wrath. Maybe we can band together and use the power of the internet for good where they have used it for evil. Maybe we can all start a “neighborhood watch” of sorts and keep an eye out for these idiots – together we can find them! If you do find one, here are a few suggested punishments:

• Shove a hornet’s nest down their pants and make them run laps barefoot on hot asphalt while smacking themselves in the head with a decaying fish


• Force them to eat 12 pounds of liver marinated in pickle juice and cottage cheese, and only offer them lukewarm buttermilk to wash it down with


• Make them attend a Reba Macintyre concert! (I realize that this is extremely harsh, but these people deserve the worst)


• Make them file their own taxes, and then each day lose the paperwork and make them do it all over again


• Make them clean the floors at the local Waffle House…with their tongue

Or perhaps we could do the unthinkable…make them respond to each and every one of their own stupid spam emails! Spammers – I want you to know that the entire world HATES YOU! You bring nothing to this world but inconvenience for the rest of us…your sole contribution to life is that you annoy people incessantly. STAY OUT OF MY BLOG YOU FREAKING IDIOTS.

Feel free to add your own unique punishments for these people in the comments section. Perhaps they'll read them before spamming and change their mind.

Lose ten pounds in a week, fix your bad credit and make lots of money! It’s easy using my new “Beat the Crap out of Everyone Who Sends Spam” workout program! Just pound their inconsiderate heads so far down that they have to unbutton their pants just to drink a coke, along with sending me $24.99, and you’re on your way to a sexier, more confident you - guaranteed!