I might be losing it...

I find myself getting snippy with inanimate objects a lot lately.  Like the other day, when I found myself scolding my daughter's Toy Story Woody doll about his incessant whining.  I told him, "You'll never amount to anything if you keep that up.  I want less whine and more work out of you.  QUIT YOUR BABYCRYING AND GET SOMETHING DONE!  OH, POOR BABY...ALL UPSET BECAUSE SOME BRAT KID WON'T PLAY WITH YOU ANYMORE...YOU GONNA LET THAT LITTLE JERK DICTATE HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE?  STOP IT WITH THE PITY PARTY AND GET BUSY LIVING!  WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE BUZZ?" 

If I have to go into an asylum or a mental ward, I hope I can be one of those guys that plays ping-pong all day....'cause ping-pong rules.  It's fast, frenetic action and doesn't require sanity to play!  I wonder if the name "ping-pong" was derived from the last names of two Asian guys who perhaps invented the game itself?  One day Li-shu Ping and Wei Pong wanted to play tennis but it was raining outside, so they decided to create a miniature tennis court to play on inside Li-shu's garage right next to his rickshaw.  Wei was like, "Ahh so, we sell this to rich white people who want social clout of playing tennis but who no like go outside." and the "ping-pong" table was born. 

Uhh...what am I writing here?

"Yeah, yeah...we've all heard it before Buzz.  You're a space ranger.  Great.  Where's the market for a skill set like that?  You'll be out on the streets in a week with no place to go and no abilities that employers are looking for."